Answering Machine Frenzy!
by PrincessLesse
Summary: What happens when Touya is off of work, and Sakura is missing--she must be at the Gaki's!? So, when he calls and all he gets is the answering machine, what is a poor oniichan to do? *FINISHED*


Answering Machine Frenzy!   
  
All of the messages on here can be found via GoodQuotes.com. None of these but Yamazaki's are mine. Please, enjoy. Refreshments are in back, leave a tip for the bartender, and a waitress will appear magically with a flavoured drink.   
  
~*~   
  
Touya was in a frenzy. He didn't know what to do. He was bored out of his mind, because didn't have work today. He wasn't in a good mood, and he didn't know where Sakura was. Today she was supposed to be staying a couple of weeks, because she said she was lonely in prep-college.   
  
That worried him even more, that she wasn't here. He didn't really know what to do, as he was sitting in the living room, with nothing to do. He saw the phone, and decided to dial Yuki's number.   
  
He let the phone ring until the answering machine came on, and when it did Touya listened to the message that Yuki had put on his phone.   
  
"You're growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very sleepy now. You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to resist suggestions. When you hear the tone, you will feel helplessly compelled to leave your name, number, and a message after you have bought me countless stocks of food and had it sent to my address." ::beep::   
  
Touya's eyes widened, but he left a message simply stating that it was Touya, and that whenever Yuki got back, he should call.   
  
Once he was finished, he started fidgeting, because he was worried about Sakura once again. So he got up and decided to go to her old room, and that he did. He walked upstairs to Sakura's room, and opened the door. He was half expecting the stuffed animal to fly out at him. Yet, Kero-chan didn't come.   
  
He walked in, and looked around the room. It was much different than it was when she was still living here. So he decided he should probe a bit. That's when he spotted it. Sitting on the bed, was a pink book. He knew it would be bad of him to do this, but he really couldn't help himself. He opened it, and on the front stated something he really, really didn't want to see.   
  
"Dear Diary,   
  
Today, I finally realized that I liked Li Syaoran. Funny, ne? Who would've thought? I was for sure that I was in love with Yukito-san, but I guess not. Anyhow, I don't think Syaoran likes me, but it doesn't mean I can't crush on him. Well, it's late diary, so I guess I'll go to bed now.   
  
Sakura."   
  
Touya's left eye started to twitch. That really wasn't something he wanted to read. He turned the next page.   
  
"Dear Diary,   
  
Today, Syaoran talked to me. Yes, S-Y-A-O-R-A-N. He lets me call him by his *first* name. Isn't that great? It's something that I've dreamed of since I've met him, because I considered him my friend. Well, maybe not since when I met him, but of course, a couple of days afterwards most likely. Now, he calls me 'Sakura'. No 'Sakura-san' or 'Sakura-chan' but S-A-K-U-R-A. SUGOI!   
  
Sakura."   
  
Touya was convulsing after he had read this. The Gaki, the one he had tried to kill the first time he met him because he was messing with Sakura, was calling her by her first name with no endearments. How degrading to him! He didn't know if he wanted to read anymore, but his curiosity got the best of him, so he turned the page.   
  
"Dear Diary,   
  
Tomoyo-chan knows of my secret, and she promised me she wouldn't tell anyone. I trust her, but then again, I don't know if she'll really keep that promise, as she's ready to start making clothes for me on my dates. That would be fun, though. My first date would be with Syaoran-kun. A real date with a really cute guy. Oh, how mad Oniichan would be. Thank goodness he isn't reading this! I guess I should go to bed now!   
  
Sakura."   
  
It couldn't be true. His little Sakura could, in NO way ever go out on a date with anyone, especially the Gaki. He would make sure of that. He braced himself, and turned the page.   
  
"Dear Diary,   
  
This is the best day of my LIFE! Li Syaoran, the boy of my dreams, likes me! This is great! He likes me! He thinks I'm great, and he says he wants to go out with me! ME! Kinomoto Sakura!! That is SUGOI!! So guess what, Sunday morning, we are going out on our first date! Well, Ja for now. I'm to hyper to sleep, so I'm going to get some ice cream!   
  
Sakura."   
  
Touya slammed the little pink book shut, and looked at Sakura's calendar, which had a huge red heart circling Sunday. Which was today... it was today. She was going out with the Gaki, today! He had to stop her. He looked around the room, and he spotted Sakura's address book. He grabbed it and ran downstairs as he started dialing numbers of people he knew would know about Sakura. The first one was the stuffed animal's cell phone.   
  
He let it ring, and it rang endlessly until the message came up. It said:   
  
"Hello, this is Death. I am not in right now, but if you leave your name and number, I'll be right with you." ::beep::   
  
"STUFFED ANIMAL, FIND MY SISTER AND BRING HER BACK!!" was the message Touya left our little Kero-chan.   
  
The next number he dialed was Tomoyo's. Hers too rang and rang and rang. The answering machine came on and it said:   
  
"This is you-know who. I am you-know-where. Leave your you-know-what and I'll reply you-know-when." ::beep::  
  
"Well this is your best friend's older brother, and there better not even be a 'you-know-when' for that certain date with her and the Gaki! If you find her, send her home!" Touya said and hung up.   
  
The next person he called was her friend Rika. It rang there forever, too, and finally the answering machine picked up. It read:   
  
"Suicide Hotline...please hold." ::beep::  
  
Now Touya was getting agitated. He said into the phone, and it sounded quite urgent: "If you find Sakura, send her home!"   
  
The next person he called was her other friend Naoko. It was probably a coincidence, but her phone rang and rang and rang. No one answered so he got the machine, which said:   
  
"You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead -- this is no ordinary telephone-answering device... You have reached, 'The Twilight Phone'". ::beep::  
  
He sighed and left another message, as blunt as the last. "If you find Sakura, send her home!"   
  
He dialed her other friend's number. Chiharu was her name, and no one happened to be home at her residence either, so after the machine he left a message. The machine said:   
  
"Hi. Now you say something." ::beep::  
  
"If you find Sakura, send her home!"   
  
Now Touya was distraught. What if the Gaki tried to kidnap her and give her to someone for him or her to take away? He didn't know if he could live with himself if that happened. He dialed the next person's number, and it was Yamazaki's. The phone rang and rang and rang, and no one was home. So after the message Touya left his own.   
  
"If you are Chiharu, this isn't me, if you aren't then did you know answering machines were first used when the Bohemians used to leave for their water-logging competitions? They had visitors leave a scrawled message on the ground, and the animals would have to keep it safe for their owners to return, once they did, the message would be very messy, so it didn't work. Having grown tired of this, they got the animals to learn how to speak so they could relay them back to the owners..." ::beep::  
  
"If you find Sakura, PLEASE send her home, and try not to fill her mind with lies!"   
  
Touya was very agitated by this time. No one was home, and if they were, they probably wouldn't tell him where Sakura was. He decided to try something different, and he looked at the next name. Just the person he'd need to do what he needed to do with.   
  
He called, and the phone rang. It rang and rang and rang. Not something he really wanted, so he left Mei lin a message after he got hers.   
  
"Me no here. Me go bye. Leave me message. Me reply." ::beep::  
  
"If you find that gaki, tell him I want my sister back. I'm sure you know where he is, and if you know where he is, you know where she is. I know where you are... I'll find that gaki!"   
  
Now Touya was down to the last pages of her directory. He looked at the next name, and it was someone he really didn't want to call. Hiiragizawa Eriol. He loathed the kid, but his sister's innocence was at stake. So he dialed the number, and this message was what he got after the third ring.   
  
"Hi. This is Eriol:   
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.   
If you are my guardians, please send money.   
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.   
If you are my friends, you owe me money.   
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money." ::beep::  
  
He listened to this, and a stony expression crossed his face. He would have to rip Eriol's number out of Sakura's phone book. He left a message anyhow.   
  
"If you find SAKURA with your CUTE DESCENDENT send her home and kill the Gaki!"   
  
He looked at the next number, and he fell over anime-style. He shook his head in frustration, and dialed it. It just happened to be Sakura's number at her apartment. He got her answering machine message, and it wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, but he left her a scolding message anyway.   
  
"Hi! Sakura's answering machine is broken. This is her refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets." ::beep::  
  
"Kaijuu, you are in major trouble. Get home once you get this message, and I mean our home, not your apartment. I want to let you know, that if you go on a date with that Gaki, I'll maim you and him. GOT IT!? BE HOME SOON!"   
  
After this, he was majorly nervous. He looked at the last number, and he decided he should call it. He didn't' want to, but now that he thought about it, it'd probably be his best bet. He dialed Li Syaoran's number.   
  
One ring... two ring...   
  
"Moshi moshi?"   
  
"Gaki?"   
  
"Kinomoto?"   
  
"Where is my sister, Gaki?!"   
  
::dial tone...::   
  
Touya looked at the phone in his hand. This wasn't good. This wasn't good at all. He called back, and it rang and rang and rang. This time he got the answering machine.   
  
"This answering machine has been connected to a 5,000 volt power supply that has been wired to this small kitten (pathetic mewing). If you don't leave a message, Fluffy here gets it. The choice is yours." ::beep::  
  
"Gaki, if you don't give the phone to my sister... if you don't ANSWER the phone for the matter, I'll kill you with my own hands. DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?! I'll..." Touya had been kicked off of the phone.   
  
He growled in frustration and called again. This time he got shut off before he could even begin talking. Next, he got a busy signal. He decided now wouldn't be the time to go ballistic, and charge after the Gaki. Then he thought about it some more, and decided it would be very good time.   
  
"I'll kill you Gaki!!" Touya said as he slipped on his shoes and jacket and ran out of the house towards the general direction of Syaoran's apartment.   
  
If he had been home, he would have heard the phone ringing, and would've gotten nine messages from Sakura's friends. But they all got the answering machine.   
  
"I'm only here in spirit at the moment, but if you'll leave your name and number, I will get back to you as soon as I'm here in person." ::beep::   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________   
Fin   
  
This was inspiration I got when I was checking out the answering machine messages. I plan to use most of these... as they are very funny (to me). I hope you liked it, thanks for reading, and knock yourselves out, why don't ya?   
  
Also, if you are wondering, Sakura and Co. are in Junior College, Touya and Yukito are out and/or taking jobs. So, they are all old enough to have their own places... blah...blah...blah... It's not set in a particular time. Sakura was home visiting, and of course, Sakura and Syaoran hadn't told each other they were in love with one another until just recently. Ja, and again, thanks for reading! 


End file.
